And I feel so alone. I'm trying not to think about the bad because that makes you weak and vulnerable, two things I never want to be, but it's pretty difficult. It's just hard thinking about how one jerk of a person can make you feel one way one second and now I feel like this-because of them. It's horrible. How people can turn their backs on things so important to go fishing and play their guitar, seriously? Having dreams of being a baseball player and a rockstar? Please make me roll my eyes more. I wish people knew when and how to grow the fuck up. It's ridiculous they think they can just keep living their life feeding off other peoples emotions and help-never feeling guilty. They blame everything on the world and nothing on themselves, their biggest enemy. They come in to your life and shake it up to the point where now everything in YOUR future is going to change drastically and they are going to just run home to mommy and daddy where everything is the same, everyone knows their name. If I could I would drive up there and give him the biggest piece of my mind but then I guess some would call that immature? I feel like it would be a huge waste of my time-he's fucking immature, selfish and obviously dumb. Ugh there's so much more to vent about but I hate venting, I feel like it's more complaining and no one wants to read about others complain.
But once more, there's seriously a huge hole in my heart and I'm looking for ways to fill it up or distract me from it, but it's getting hard. Especially in the mornings before you get up and at night before you fall asleep. Worst times.
Fuck you.
I hope someday you read this.
But I doubt you ever will.
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